SINGHAM RETURNS - Movie Review

SINGHAM x n times!! 

That is all you hear in an outlandish background score which otherwise comprises of such earth shattering sounds that at one point it was almost obvious that the speakers at the cinema were about to burst!

Being loud is one thing. Being Singham is another. 

Human beings, by the virtue of being born as humans have a limitation to the decibels that can be tolerated by their ears. Rohit Shetty thinks otherwise. 

There must be serious shortage of sound engineers while Shetty made this film because this time around, he isn't defying the laws of Physics as much as he has tried to defy the decibels permissible by the vestibular system in the human ear.

As has been the case with sequels to almost all the 100cr films, Singham Returns too has a plot which is exactly similar to that seen in its predecessor. The ease with which everything transpired on the screen for the 1st instalment is sorely missing and hence Singham Returns only to showcase what had already been portrayed 3 years ago. 

There is a fine moment in the film when a woman yells at Singham and I quote, "HUME FARAK NAHI PADTA KI 5 SAAL KAUNSI SARKAAR RAHE, HUME FARAK PADTA HAI KI AGLE 5 DIN TAK HAMARE GHAR ME ROTI RAHEGI YA NAHI."

Well this line in itself could have formed the crux of the film but it doesn't.

The humour falls flat and that is a sore misfit in a Rohit Shetty film. 

The scenes from his films, which for a large part of time felt outrageous yet entertaining, turned out to be outrageous and IRRITATING this time around.

Okay there is not much to talk about the story or screenplay as there is none! Everything happens so randomly on the screen that after a point of time I just stopped caring about what the plot was and where the scenes were moving. 

Daya from CID is there only because there is a scene where he has to respond to - DAYA DARWAZA TODD DO!

Kareena Kapoor Khan. For every Ganpati Mandal requiring loudspeaker facilities during the 11 days of festivities, she is the best bet! 

BOSE and JBL have tough times ahead in the market! 

Gone are the days when Gabbar, Mogambo and Shakal would acquire immortal personas! 

Here are the days when the villain is reduced to a mere caricature and is allowed to provide comic relief at max.

It was almost impossible to believe that the guy from Kaminey, BHOPE BHAU, who almost stole the show from Shahid Kapoor, would turn out to be so mediocre while he'd perform in Singham Returns. 

Yes I’m talking about Amol Gupte!

The biggest reason to watch this film also turned out to be the biggest disappointment.

Nobody beats Ajay Devgn when it comes to performing with woody expressions! Only this time he hams too much!

Dialogues which were intended punch lines fell flat even in a full house single screen theatre at a B grade centre on the first weekend. 

As an actor Ajay Devgn is more, much more capable of what he has been doing off late. Probably it is time to deliver yet another Raincoat-isqe film to prove his acting prowess. 

The only instruction that Rohit Shetty probably gave to everyone who was a part of making this film was to be at their loudest!

So Kareena screams in a way that it almost pierces the Dolby Surround Sound System, Amol Gupte laughs at an octave which is above the scale at which Shankar Mahadevan usually sings and the gun firing sound is so outlandishly loud that even after plugging in ear phones it does not sound normal. 

Another important point that I must bring here is the queue that I witnessed while I went for the show! It was almost as if the entire village had turned up to see the film!

With a delayed start of 30 minutes, as extra chairs had to arranged in to settle the crowd, the film played out to a quite audience, devoid of the customary taalis and seetis you'd expect in a Rohit Shetty film. 

That in itself is a big loss to the film which was intended to open to a thundering response! 

Another important advice, please do not take kids for the screening of this film. There is too much of noise pollution and you wouldn't really want to take your kids to an ENT specialist post the film!

Alright then, they say that history repeats itself. It surely does. 

With the kind of cinema that is being made in the recent days, it seems as if the 90's are back again. An era which is infamous for dishing out some of the most ridiculous and shameful films in the history of Indian Cinema seems to be taking shape again. 

Singham Returns is hardly any where near the bare minimum entertainment quotient required out of a commercial film and is repetitive in its purest form!

**1 STAR**

One last question before I sign off, "who on Earth allowed YO YO HOrNY SINGH to make AATA MAJHI SATAKLI??" 

I am pretty sure about the fact that GRAMMY is not going to come his way with the kind of work he does, but some eggs and tomatoes are guaranteed! (Oh they are pretty pricey as well these days!)

AATA MAJHI SATAKLI - A standard audience reaction post the film.

KICK - MOVIE REVIEW

There are certain events, which after a point of time lose their significance but keep on occurring every year simply because they'd once taken place. 

A particular event to which I am referring to in this particular article is more fondly called the Salman Khan phenomenon, which usually strikes the nation during the festivities of Eid and turns out to be a good money spinner for those involved in film trade. 
{This phenomenon once occurred this year during January (JAI HO) but that wasn't the time when people celebrated Eid and hence its impact was substantially mild.}

So Kick is a debut affair for the popular producer turned director Sajid Nadiadwala and as is the case with most of the directors directing films which are made keeping in mind the first weekend collections and not the screenplay, it turns out that he virtually had nothing to direct.

Anyway Salman Khan is a tough actor to direct simply because-

**BHAI KI FILM ME BHAI KO KOI DIRECT NAHI KARTA!!**

Once again a popular film from down South is reworked to suit the taste of SALMAN'S audiences and this time around the rework and the screenplay have been contributed by none other than the intellectual genius of a celebrated author Chetan Bhagat. 
And boy does Bhagat surprise us!

Just wait for the last scene to unfold in Kick and trust me those of you waiting for Chetan Bhagat's upcoming book would be in for a rude shock!

Time to look back at investment banking Mr. Bhagat. 

Rajat Arora, the brilliance of whose screenwriting gave us films like Taxi No. 9211, Once Upon A Time in Mumbai and The Dirty Picture seems to have given up his control over writing fluid sequences and dramatic dialogues.

**YE FILM NA DIL ME AAYI, NA SAMAJH ME!!**

Alright coming to the point, KICK is not at all entertaining. 

The humour falls flat. Salman isn't half as endearing as he was in Dabangg. The songs induce headache. If only Jacqueline could act. 
If only Nawaz did not overact. 

Nawazuddin Siddique has been a reason to watch many films, sadly not KICK. There is no character build-up. He appears in a very random scene and it is then made "obvious" that he has evil intentions. 
His evil laugh is nothing but funny and everytime he tried to spill out a dialogue; I could not hide my expectations of him hurling a GOW style abuse at Salman. 
It is time we should try to look for villains that at least look their part if not act. 

Jacqueline Fernandez looks ravishing but that's about it. 
She is amazing at her dance moves and laughable at her acting stints. 

Randeep Hooda is convincing in his role that turns out to be similar to Abhishek Bachchan's in the Dhoom series. Randeep Hooda is wasted.
 I say this because he was the one who at least tried to infuse some blood in the otherwise insipid hooliganism but as was expected, wasn't given enough screen time to justify his role.

Salman Khan hasn't acted at all. He is Salman Khan in the film. And that for you folks is a brilliant display of NATURAL ACTING.

Characterization and role briefing seems to have stopped ever since Salman Khan did Dabangg. Since it is his film, he can do anything, and he will, the character be damned. 

So in one fine intellectual moment that might have happened during the screen-play testing, the makers play a master stroke by finding the name for the alternate identity of Salman and hence Devi Lal turns Devil. Amazing!!

The mask also comes in handy!

And to those hailing it as an action masterpiece, please stand up and describe one stunt that made you go OH MY GOD!

Dear makers- Don't try to bore us with Range Rovers and Double Decker buses bashing into each other. Rohit Shetty does that and much more with Mahindra Scorpio with much élan. 

The much talked about scene where Salman walks past a train as he pushes his cycle out of his sight is laughable; simply because he had been shot seconds before he does that. And still such TASHAN!?

Not that my review is going to make sense to the people who will still watch it and the stuff that Salman will release next year during Eid but I hope this at least makes the fan urge their Hero to do better films in the future. Trust me it feels miserable to spend more than INR250 on such stupidness. 

**4 KILO TAMATAR AA JAATE HAI 250 rupees me!!**

We love watching you Salman. It feels good to see the nonsense you do on screen but there is a limit to it. 
Try and understand that majority of your audience "saves" up to watch you on screen and then being subjected to such inglorious films is like cheating your fans!

Dabangg remains my favourite of all Salman's potboilers simply because it had a story to tell, a character to be portrayed along with the masalas! Come up with something like that. 200 crores is a bare minimum guaranteed anyway!

I am not an ardent admirer of artistic cinema but the commercial cinema these days is hardly entertaining. Kick is a straight Kick to your purses. Enjoy seeing your hard earned money fly away! 

KICK-E-KICKK!! (That is how the background score goes.)

**1.5 STARS**